The heart of Pergatory!

For the past month I have been excited to tell people my good news, PAPERS ARE IN! But not after waiting almost a month for a mission call, just to know that it's still in processing (which means it's in the first stage and hasn't even gotten to the comittee who decides where I go). I have never been good at waiting for things, especially when I have done everything I could and now am waiting on human hands...and maybe the Lord.

This whole year, as many of you know, I have refered to this time as being in Pergatory. I can't finish my schooling because I promised Heavenly Father I would give him 18 months. I couldn't go on a mission due to some debts. Well now I have advanced to the heart of Pergatory. I still can't advance on future plans because I am waiting for a mission call that is supposed to be coming from a lost application (at least that is my explanation for why it's been in processing for three weeks...it's lost). I know that seems silly, but if you know me, it makes more sense. If you don't know, I'll tell you. I am a get in, get done person...I'm a finisher. That may explain to you a lot. I don't just want to finish things-have another notch on my belt-I just like doing things and finishing them especially when it's about my future. So when I can't do things and finish them because I am waiting on something that is out of my hands, I get a little antsy and a little grumpy and a little un productive. It makes me laugh when people tell me that I am laid back. I just don't tell them that it's because I am always laid back when lounging around your house and eating your food.

So why is this post here? It's a rant! Should I not be ranting while waiting on the Lord's time or maybe human mistakes? No. Should I erase this post? Probably. But does it make me feel better to get this off my chest?................not really.

As everyone does through life and especially in the crazy early twenties, I am learning and I want you to see that. I don't feel better when I complain about this time in my life and I don't feel better when I am not being patient. As I put this all in perspective to the things that have happened and the things that probably will happen, it's not that big of a deal and I know it. This time is testing my patience and I know it, and I want to do better at waiting (and that may be by doing a lot more lounging and your house). This is just a puddle (as aunty Peg once described, there are storms and puddles in life) actually this is more like a stream in the gutter and I happened to step in...in flip flops with dirt already on my feet so now there is mud...I'll stop. So, it's no big deal, just want to tell you I am learing, and I'll be laying on your couch soon.